Posted by: Scott Lee | June 16, 2017

How to get kids to listen?




  1. You want the little porn-addicted devil-spawn to listen? Answer is simple – force them to go fully analogue for an entire week. Take away their digital phone, their computers, their FB, Twitter, etc. After the first 24 hours of them telling you how much they hate you, the twitching will set in. The next 24 hours will see them looking for any source of filth to feed their need for depravity. At this point, these digital crackheads will be shaking like a margarita mixer and spanking off to old Sears and Robuck catalogues because they can’t access their online sources of porn. The next 24 hours will have them weeping like Joe Liberman after loosing the 2000 election. They will be drooling uncontrollably by this point, but they will still have the energy to tell you just how much you have f’d up their lives and how they wish they had never been born to you. The fourth and fifth 24 hour periods are the worst because now they will get physically violent – baby needs a hit and ur the only dealer around. They will physically steal ur phone just to log into FB or Twitter. If u try to stop them, they will punch you. By the sixth 24 hour period, they are laying in a puddle of their own filth, spanking off to the shape of a gender neutral cloud floating by. The last 24 hour period will see them finally crack. They will actually listen to what you have to verbally say. No, you don’t have to tweet it to them. Say it out loud! OMG ROFLOL LOLI

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